WTF!??

I saw the preview for this a LONG time ago and said, MEH! Another "The Cave" creature feature...I'll see it on the dish/DVD when it's over and done with.

I then semi-casually kept an eye on it as it was coming up for release...preview screenings went by and it was clocking 95% Fresh on the Tomato-meter on www.rottentomatoes.com. I said to myself, MEH, must be all the "Fangoria" mags that are writing in and giving it good press.

Now it's OUT and I just printed the review from Jim Emerson on RogerEbert.com who's giving it FOUR stars!!?!!?!!!??

I RE-checked the Tomato-Meter and it's STILL clocking 88%!!!!???

They're calling it the NEW Blair Witch in both claustrophobic terror and spine-creepiness?!?!?!!


Mitch, Darrell....ADD this to our weekend's viewing, we're HITTING THE MEGAPLEX!!!

I'm SO there....

Here's the preview...

(erk...and I'm HIGHLY claustrophobic...!)

Meh!

MEH!?

Actually...that's what I said, but I'm reading the reviews....they're ALL saying that it's NOT what it looks like, the commercials/previews DON'T do it justice, etc etc.

Read this review:

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060803/REVIEWS/60724004

and this one:

http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/Reviews/D/Descent/2006/08/04/1718444.html

Meh!

Indeed.

I second that meh. Meh.

WHOA.

Okay, I WAS kidding about the 'Meh', but I didn't think it would be THAT scary. The less you know about this movie, the better. Having said that...




***SPOILERS***




Jesus fucking Christ! It's pretty much the most jolting thing I've seen in years, and in the long term it'll rank up there with 'Alien', 'Blair Witch', and 'Jaws' just for sheer horror. I went alone, and watched most of it through my fingers as my hands were on my face in tension.
There's different levels of terror here - the first half is really suspenseful and claustrophobic and focuses more on the girls lost in the underground caverns. This is done superbly - fine acting by six unknowns NOT stereotyped in their characters, masterful camerawork and lighting for true fear-of-the-dark fans, and the appropriate use of shock-scares and dream-vision-scares to full effect without seeming tired and cliched.
THEN act two comes along and the monsters are introduced! They weren't terribly original creations, but they did the trick. Kinda looked like a cross between the half-bat-half-boy pics you see in the Enquirer and Gollum. It was just so neat to be terrified for these girls an hour BEFORE there's any hint of monsters. The most cringe-inducing scene for me didn't even involve the creatures.
There's also a nice little plot twist 2/3's of the way in - and no, it's not one of the standard cornball twist endings, just a little secret revealed about one of the girls.
I have a few very minor complaints, but won't even get into it here. It didn't detract from my overall viewing pleasure. Lots of fun if you like being genuinely scared (I won't lose any sleep though). Horror fans rejoice, and go see it. The good horror films are so few and far between.

Of testeronic note - the six girls are very attractive and NOT from the plastic-y Hollywood mold.

SEE?!!

SEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?


WHEN will you people STOP second-guessing my genius?!!

Sigh.

Kicking and screaming shall the uninformed slack-jawed masses be brought into the fold.

Papa "Mr. Universe - King of All Media" Mikey!

I KNEW you'd pull a 'told-you-so'!
I said I was kidding about the 'Meh'.
You're no better than....

HEY!

After the debacle that WAS "Alien 3000" and "Raging Sharks", I need to re-establish my bruised and shattered, tattered and torn movie-lore ego.

So, I need to take my paltry small victories whenever and wherever I can...

I'm the group's personal Zayra....

Now where's my gold spandex suit and Slash tophat?

Guess what's now out on DVD......!!!!
Deril?

in, in and IN !!

Well, just rewatched this with Deril and my cousin (it was their first viewing), and even though I'd seen it and knew what was coming, I was still tense throughout. Pretty solid the second time around. I have nothing more to add that I didn't already say above, but Mikey - go rent it already! And turn off ALL the lights for maximum effect!

Can't rent....

Warcraft.

Awesome flick!
Knew nothing going into it which is the way to go I think. Mitch pretty much said it all above, but I thought it was great and not only one of the best "horror" flicks I've seen in years, but one of the best movies I've seen in 2006. There were at least 4-5 times that I leapt from my seat...even though you kinda expected that something was going to happen.

Put down your Worldcraft boubamises and rent this movie..NOW!

Papamikey:

OK!!!!

Time for me to wade out into the pool.

Saw this at Mini-Manos 2007 (sans the Goddess.../cry (BTW, Derek "wants" to see the Goddess now...I told him he'd actually have to ATTEND a Manos in order to be CONSIDERED worthy to be in her prescence))

The movie was GREAT, but sighhhh...it suffered muchly from pre-information which I TRIED to filter but with my rampant addiction to YouTube and its like, it was near impossible. So, I had seen many of the scenes/previews/reviews (see above) and knew much of the movie. Didn't detract from the sheer tension the movie created in scenes and the fact that Jeff had to talk himself through many scenes ("What the fuck is this? What is that!? HOLD ME, MITCH!")

LOL!

Now, a rating. Sigh. I think HAD I seen this fresh it would be a 4-starrer no problem, but my own pre-info ruined much of it for me. I think I'll give the movie the benefit of the doubt and go with my instinct: 4 stars.

**SPOILER WARNING**

BUT! They threw in one of my movie-killers (no pun): they gruesomely killed a child in the first act. Now, this was crucial to the story, but damn if it doesn't derail me for obvious reasons...the scenes (even OFF screen) of child-death always plague me through the whole movie and tend to pull me OUT of the scene as I naturally connect how I would react in (GOD FORBID) the same scenario.

But, I'll still give it four stars, again, the scene with the pole in the window dream sequence thing and Jeff screaming like a 4-year old girl saved it.

Papa Mikey!

Alright you jagoffs... yes, the initial bits of the movie are pretty intense and scary... yes, the production values are decent - not great mind you, and yes, who could complain about six hot women in athletic gear?

But, talk about over-rated crap!

Where shall I begin? The whole death of the daughter thing was a non-starter and had nothing to do with the eventual reason we are supposed to be scared. So why was it there?

I mean, it starts off like perhaps it is going to be a haunting/psychological thing, but it simply becomes a stupid monster-chase movie; with monsters that, in my mind, come out from nowhere! When the monsters were introduced, I had to pause the movie and say, "you mean this is a monster movie?" At that point I stopped being scared by the movie and just found it stupid.

Moreover, the monsters ate their meals in a most gratuitous way... ooohhh lets eat in a ravenous ways such that blood flies around in giant arcs... oh yes, and did you know that blood gathers in pools and never dries up? Bloody idiotic.

Now... if the movie had centred on the psychological aspects of being caught underground in a cave, with a person suffering from mental distress, it could have been an interesting thriller, more in the mode of Open Water. Instead it turns into a run of the mill monster movie.

Who's scared of monsters? Not me! Know why? They don't exist!

On the other hand a realistic situation made scary - that's a horror movie.

Monster's are too real, BLEH!

SPOILERS

Oh Jeffy, I knew you'd trash it as soon as you made the comment, "What's with the monsters?".
Too bad, I was getting a kick out of watching you guys jump and scream during the first half.
The girl being killed off gave reason for Sarah to be paranoid and of unstable mind, it gave reason for the girls to rally round and go on the trip together for her sake, it gave reason for the others to think Sarah kooky when she thinks she hears and sees things in the cave. Don't forget the husband died too - this helps propel the affair-with-Juno twist.

There were no pools of blood, just pools of water with blood and guts in them.

And are you saying that you can't enjoy a movie if it's not 100% realistic? What about Close Encounters? Or The Fly? Or freakin' Star Wars?!?
Hell, I believe you have a big boner for Spock, no?
The Descent played out as real as any of these films, if not more. I mean, if aliens can exist, why not evolved bat/human creatures that live faaaar underground where no one would ever see them or live to tell of them? Makes more sense than Yoda!
Anyways, go have yourself a Schweppes and calm down.

No no no... it's not that a movie can't be "make believe" that is not my point. My point is that the movie grounds itself in a realistic setting of tragedy, and psychological damage, but then "out of nowhere" (deus ex machina) monsters show up. Nothing in the preceeding 45 minutes suggests for one second that we will be dealing with anything paranormal. It's cheap writing. No set up is established to create a suspension of disbelief; you are just expected to believe that now that there are monsters, hey! there are monsters! Of course there are monsters!

And your point about the accident at the beginning creating a reason for the six of them to get together is a nonpoint. These are a group of friends who do adventurous trips together on a regular basis - no tradgedy required. And the notion of her fragile mental state causing others to disbelieve her sightings? Come on! What was that, maybe 10 minutes before the other characters saw the monsters too and believed her? Again... pointless!

Okay, I concede! YeeesH!
Better discussed over beers and gummi roadkill.

"I love watching the bald guy fight with the big tub o-lard" - HS

I do concede that the movie COULD have stood alone without the addition of the family tragedy at the start, but the director DID (if loosely) try to parallel her own "Descent" into lost grief over her child (much less the father, natch), the discovery of her inner demons and the eventual "way out"

*MAJOR SPOILER*

And then the twist ending where she BELIEVES she escaped only to still be caught in the labyrinth. Making you re-think if the battles she's endured were actually real or are we in a dream layer within her still grieving mind.

All of this could not play out if there wasn't such a sharp tragedy at the beginning. Hence, SOMEWHAT of a reason for the scenes, no?

Only trouble I had with the ending is what the director had against Juno. It WAS established (subtley) that she was hump-bouncing with the Husband, it was somewhat her fault she brought them to uncharted caves without map and it was DEFINATELY an "excusable" error in judgement that she jammed an ice axe through her friend's throat. But does this make her prime material for the "Burke"esque "I HOPE SHE DIES" character?

Is hobbling her and letting her get torn to shreds by 1000 CGI monsters necessary? She seems as much a victim in my eyes than ANY of the other girls....

Besides: she has a nice rack.

...and to Jeff I say: