First things first - everything about this movie is absolutely ludicrous beyond measure.
Remember 'Crank'? This is the same movie, period. Turns out Statham survived the fall that ended the last movie and now Chinese gangs have taken his body and replaced his heart with a battery-charged substitute that he has to constantly recharge via various crazy methods in order to survive long enough to get his real heart back and.....aw, hell it doesn't matter.
Again, it's not boring, just WAY too much, directed and edited by the same A.D.D. guys who did the first film, who include ONCE AGAIN an outlandish public sex scene that is so laughable....eh, it's just a critique-proof movie. There's just no point in saying anything bad about it because it's just so stupid on every level. But hey, lots of action, boobs, porn stars, violence, and a couple of very weirdly directed scenes done in different styles (one a la Godzilla) that come out of nowhere that make you go "Whuuuuuu????". And a guy getting his elbow sliced off. And another guy slicing off his own nipples.
So yeah, turn off your brain and enjoy (again).
And yes, they leave it open for a third movie.

I caught the VERY end of this movie on the dish before realizing I WAS indeed watching the end. And the entire last scene had a HUGE "WTF??!" painted across it...

W T F?!

Did it warrent watching the entire film right through? Probably not.

I kinda liked it for what it is, but MAN O MAN are there so many things wrong with this movie. Mitch kept remniding me through out not to ask too many questions. The logistics of the whole thing are just...well...stupid.
But (as Mitch said) some cool action scenes. TONS of bew-bees and some funny lines etc.

The writing was SO bad that aftr Statham kills a guy, he is about to say one of the ever so common action hero lines (ie. Stick Around, Asta La Vista Baby, Yippy Kai-ye MF..etc).

What does Statham say?

"Broccoli & Cheese!"

WTF???? We had to rewind it to just to make sure we heard it right.
What does that mean? If anyone can explain THAT to me, they win a prize.

SO.

ALL my life I've been obsessive compulsive about finishing things that I've started. Some would say it's admirable, others would say it's a curse...but I watched the END of this film and JUST HAD....JUST HAAAAD to watch the rest...

If ever there had to be an exception to my stupid rule, this was it - what an absolute disgusting, mysoginistic, purile piece of SHIT.

While the first one had its low-brow charm, this one made it look like a reading of The Tempest. It's like they vomitted at the screen and saw what stuck and what DID stick was not what you would EVER want to see (as it IS vomit).

Many would mislabel this as PLONT...this is NOT PLONT...this is what a 13 year old boy would write, no...hold that - a 13 year old AD/HD suffering addiction to Call of Duty games, after he's discovered Hustler for the first time.

I know it's all supposed to be erratic and tongue-in-cheek, everything amp'ed up to 11...I'm supposed to suspend my disbelief that a man could still go on after what Chelios' body endures...but I find it hard to suspend my disbelief when it's hung from the fucking CN Tower by its panties and Chelios is busy fucking it in public.

OUCH!

I realise this isn't the greatest movie ever, but a bomb?? It had it's moments, no?

No...I mean for a moment I was kinda impressed by the imagination of the camera work and the different styles they used for some of the subtitles/scenes (a la "Daywatch") but this was quickly overpowered by him sticking a shotgun up a fat man's arse...

"Broccoli & Cheese baby!"

Doing a quick Google search: There's actually SEVERAL web-pages/blogs TRYING to explain why he said that (and I did note the scene)...

I personally don't care and have already given WAAAAAY too much energy to this travesty of a film.

My own personal "Dances With Wolves", baby!

This can't be your 'Dances With Wolves' because you watched it. The point of my Dances With Wolves List is that I REFUSE to ever watch that film. You have to watch a trailer/preview of Crank 2, and claim "I refuse to ever watch this piece of crap!", and then stick to your guns.